Every Hit I Take
by StopWatchFan
Summary: Gerard Way is struggling in Rehabilitation. With a loving boyfriend at home, he still finds himself infatuated with a boy working at the institution. If he acts on it, he can't blame the drugs or drinks. But, he can never control his impulse.
1. Chapter 1

I glared at my little brother as he looked at me in disgust. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" He asked, referring to my daily habits.  
"Fuck off!" I slurred. What kind of teenage boy would turn down alcohol? Let alone drugs!  
Mikey cringed. "Gerard, I'm bringing you home!" He argued. I rolled my eyes.  
I didn't normally bring him along like this. I just hung out around a bar or when I'm at home, if no one was around, I would pull out a vodka bottle.  
Mikey just made this no fun. That's what the kid does. He just studies on stupid high school shit. He's one of those 'pure boys' who never does anything wrong in their life.  
I felt Mikey grab my arm and shove me up the alley, toward the main road.  
I felt too intoxicated to fight; my vision was a little lagging. All I did was curse at him all the way home.

I woke up on my bed. I grabbed my aching head. That's the one downside to alcohol – the hangover. I shoved one hand in my jeans pocket, hoping one of my vials of crystal would turn up.  
I grinned as I felt the tiny vial hit my finger. I brought it into view as I weakly sat up. The splitting head ache would flutter away like a butterfly once I take in the sweetest sugar.  
Before I could inhale much, Mikey knocked as he slowly opened the door. His slow pace gave me time to hide my medicine.  
"Hey, Gee?" Mikey whispered.  
"What do you want?" I snapped, looking over at Mikey on the other side of my room.  
"Bert's over." He said. Bert's my best friend, other than the fuck-head, Mikey who I call my brother.  
"Then send him in instead of making me look at you." I snapped, angrily. I was definitely not in the mood to be nice. But, I kind of regretted snapping like that after I saw the look on Mikey's face; his lips forming a slight frown along with his eye brows drooping a little. I heard a small mumble outside my door before Bert walked in.  
He waited until the loud creaks of the stairs stopped before he spoke. Yes, my room is in the basement.  
"Hey, Gerard." He said, jumping onto my bed next to me.  
"Hi." I said quietly.  
"Whoa, did you drink last night?" He asked. I nodded.  
"Why; do I smell?" I asked, sniffing the collar of my – nope, no shirt. That's great.  
"No, you're just a bit quieter than usual." He said, placing one hand on my shoulder. I felt a little weird like this. I felt like I was on display and Bert was checking my price. Well, to any of you I would sound paranoid to think that whenever someone touches my shoulder, but it's not that. I felt awkward because I knew Bert was gay.  
Come to think of it, I'm actually still not sure about myself. I'm still attracted to women, but I think some men are attractive.  
"Just a bit of a hangover." I said, pushing aside my thoughts. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.  
"Alright.. Mind if I light up?" He asked, pulling out a cigarette.  
"Mind if I tweak out?" I replied. He smiled and lit his cigarette. I pulled out my crystal that was hidden underneath my pillow.  
The room spun slowly as I took my first, small dose. I relaxed as the pain faded away and all that was left was an enjoyable high I received as I took in the last of the treatment.  
I inhaled the also wonderful scent of the cigarette smoke. I grinned at the "two" Berts I saw beside me. After a moment, my dizziness faded and I found Bert closing the precious personal space between us. Before I could show panic in any way, he whispered my name.  
"I've got your birthday present." He said, playfully. I rolled my eyes. Yeah, my birthday was about 10 months ago. And-  
His lips brushed against mine. He semi-forced me into a lying position as he deepened the kiss. I enjoyed this somehow, and let his tongue, which had begun licking my lip, into my mouth, allowing him to explore.  
Bert's legs straddled my waist and his hands dug into my hair."Gerard," Bert said, leaning away just enough to speak. I groaned. He wore a smile, "Are you sure you aren't gay?"  
I grinned. "Totally." I joked. He chuckled and returned to my lips.  
I felt his warm tongue come out from his lips, sliding along mine asking for entrance again. I gave him a warm welcome and smiled. I just hope no certain fuck-heads came into my room right now.  
I moaned as Bert ran his fingers over my bare chest.

"Bert," I breathed. He lifted away from my lips and sat on me, his hands still scanning my chest. I then noticed the weirdness of our genitals aligning. Even after our romantic interaction just now, I felt uncomfortable being in this position.  
Berts warm hands wandered around my much unwanted baby fat around my stomach. He stopped when his hand made contact with the waistband of my jeans, and his eyes flicked to me.  
"Bert, we can't go that far." I warned, putting my left hand on his.  
He frowned and slid his hand away.  
He just simply laid back down on me. He rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes.

I smiled and rolled my eyes as I felt his hand running up the back of my thigh.  
I put my arms around his waist. "Not now." I whispered. He tilted his head upwards and kissed my neck.  
I smiled, and then moaned as Bert began nipping at the skin. I felt his lips crease upwards at the sound and continued.  
"Has 'now' passed yet?" He whispered, his lips sliding against my skin as he spoke. I smiled and bit my lip.  
"No, but you can continue what you're doing." I encouraged.  
Bert began kissing my neck again. "If I do,"- a kiss to my jaw -"the temptation will win me over."  
"We'll just see." He smiled and began nipping at my neck again. I moaned and prayed to God his temptation would win him over.  
My prayer was answered.


	2. Chapter 2

I lay there on... the carpet? I turned my head and saw Bert lying next to me. When did we get on the floor?  
I felt a tickle up my leg. I grinned; Bert was awake. His arm wrapped over my waist.  
"Good morning." I glanced at my window which was almost impossible to find. It was dark out.  
"Good _evening_." I corrected. He chuckled. He shifted and his body was lying directly next to me. He leaned his head on mine; his lips at my ear.  
He began nibbling on my earlobe. I smiled. His hand started exploring my chest again. Only then did I realize my body pains.  
My head was throbbing and my ass hurt. But the pain was nearly gone when Bert touched me.  
Bert kissed my neck and I stopped his hand with mine.  
"What the hell are we going to say? It's really late." I said. I had never talked about my sexual orientation. With anyone.  
Bert sat up silently. "We could say 'fuck off' to anyone who asks." He suggested. I chuckled and sat up.  
"Works for me."

After I let Bert use our shower, he took off. It was actually 5:30 in the morning when we had woken up.  
I now stood – because, pathetically, I couldn't sit yet – at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in my hand. Mikey waved quietly when he walked into the kitchen, sticking his head into the refrigerator.  
He shrugged and popped his head out again. I shook the carton of milk in the air towards him. He chuckled and took it from my hand.  
"So... What's up?" He asked quietly as he made himself a cup of coffee... Make that, _two_ cups of coffee. I grinned.

"Did you bring someone home last night?" I teased, eying the extra cup.  
"SHH!" He hissed.  
"Oh, is she still here?" I continued. He glared at me. I chuckled.  
"Mom's awake. Don't say that stuff out loud!" He whined. I grinned.  
"So, there _is_ a girl." I continued, pathetically hiding my grin behind the rim of my coffee mug. He glared at me and walked out into the hallway with both cups of coffee.  
After breakfast, our mother made me drive Mikey and his 'study partner' to school. What a pain in the ass. No pun intended.  
Her name was Alicia. They had apparently fallen asleep studying. I wonder what _they_ were studying. _Wow_ that sounded so cliché, I can't believe I even thought it.  
"See you." I said as they both got out of the car. I watched as they split up to different directions after a hug.  
I eyed the boy Mikey walked over to. He had black hair with the sides dyed maroon. He was wearing a Misfits hoodie so I assumed he didn't even go to Mikey's uniformed school.  
I stepped on the gas as soon as I broke off my stare. When I hit the red light on the corner, I spotted a forgotten textbook on my passenger seat. I rolled my eyes. "Idiot." I muttered.

"GERARD ARTHUR WAY!" I heard my mother scream at the top of her lungs as I walked through the front door. She only called me by my full name when she was really, really pissed off.  
I eyed the fist she made towards me. Trapped inside was my crystal vial! Busted...  
"Yeah," I answered nonchalantly. She scowled.  
"Why did I find this in your room?" She growled. Okay, what is the point of asking that question?  
"Because you were snooping around my personal property." I replied, maintaining my calm tone.  
"Is this the result of being friends with that boy, Bert?" She screeched. She seemed to me as if she was steaming from the ears like a cartoon.  
And, okay, it is my choice to take them! Leave Bert out of this!  
"It's not Bert. For your information I had those even before I met Bert!" I defended Bert, even though that wasn't true.  
"You are grounded and you are forbidden to see Bert!" As she set the commandments of Donna Way, I rolled my eyes and started past her, down the hall.  
"See you." I muttered, before I walked down the stairs to the basement. She stayed silent. Why? Because she had a peace of mind in me going to my room. I had no idea until I got down there.  
I walked in, and found it swept clean. Not in the hygienic type of way, the drug type. I darted to my desk drawer. I opened it and removed its contents. My envelopes of crystal and cocaine were gone!  
I snapped my head up; phone rang. I picked up the cordless receiver on my desk.  
"Hello?" I answered, walking over to my bed.  
"Hey, Gee." It was Bert. I smiled. I definitely needed to hear him right now.  
"Hey, what's up?" I asked, running my hand under the bed. I may have left something under there. I groaned. Nothing.  
"_Gerard?_"  
"Yeah." I jumped up onto my bed.  
"_What's wrong?_"  
"How do you do that?" I whined.  
"_I'm psychic. Now, what's wrong?_" He repeated.  
"If you're psychic, you would know."  
"_My powers are limited._" He excused himself. I smiled to myself.  
"My mom found my stuff." I said. He laughed.  
"_Oh my God! What did she do?_" He asked, still a hint of laughter in his voice.  
"She actually grounded me and I am now 'forbidden to see you'." I said, mimicking my mother's voice. He giggled.

"_Well, I 'won't' see you later around 8:00, okay?_" He joked. I smiled.

"Your house?"

"_Of course._"  
"Bye."  
"_Bye, bye._"  
We hung up and I dropped back onto my bed.  
I had nothing to do. My mother took all my stuff. I lazily picked myself back up and went back to my desk.  
My memory flashed to Bert and I started sketching his face.  
Halfway through my drawing, my head started throbbing. I dropped my pencil and pressed the palm of my hand to my forehead. I groaned.  
I had to get something.  
I left my room and headed up to the kitchen. Luckily, my mother wasn't there.  
I looked through the cupboards until I came across a jar of coffee grains. Caffeine? Sounds good.  
My mother walked into the kitchen after about fifteen minutes later.  
"Hello, Gerard." She said sternly. She was still pretty mad at me.  
I stayed silent but nodded my head to acknowledge her.

The coffee was a good substitute. The head ache was faded and I felt almost as good as with the drug high.  
"Gerard, you need to go to rehab." She said. I rolled my eyes.  
"Rehab is where you go when you quit." I said.  
"You're quitting." She snarled.  
"You're just sending me to rehab to make sure I don't get influenced by Bert, right?" She stayed silent which was her way of saying yes. "Go ahead. I believe they still have phones over there in hell." I added.  
My mother was surely enraged at this point. Oh, fuck it. I could probably be able to sneak out to get or smuggle in drugs at rehab. Just to get away from this bitch.  
Later on in the day, I was packing a few things to bring with me to my trip to rehab.  
I stared at a picture of me and Bert that we had taken at a Smashing Pumpkins concert. I half-smiled and took it out of the frame. I held it in front of me.  
It was before I entered the drug world. I noticed I had no black lines under my eyes like now. The drugs usually kept me awake. I sighed and slid the picture into a pocket of the suitcase.  
The phone rang and I picked up the cordless.  
"Hello?"  
"_Hey, did I leave a book in your car?_" Mikey asked on the other end.  
"Yeah. Why; do you need it?" I asked.  
"_No, I'm just checking._" He said sarcastically. I smiled.  
"I'm on house arrest. I'll see you in a few years after I bust outta prison. Okay?" I said.  
"_Did Mom kill you yet?_"  
"She found my stuff and now I'm being forgotten by the world." I explained.

I sighed; I probably won't be seeing anyone I know for a long time. It was almost the end of the school year, so I'd probably get a phone call or two in from Mikey. Not that I was all that close with him, it was just like him to make courtesy calls.  
"_Alright. Do you think you can bring my book in?_" Mikey asked.  
"No. Share with Alicia." I teased. He whined. He gave in and hung up because the bell rang.  
I dropped on the bed. What could I do until I sneak out against my mother's wishes, completely defying her authority?...


	3. Chapter 3

I decided to call Bert. I sat up, grabbed the phone and dialed his number.  
"Hello?" Bert answered after two rings.  
"Hey, Bert. It's me." I said.  
"Uh, oh. Are you dying already?" he asked.  
"Oh my fucking God, how do you do that?" I whined, dropping onto my back. I grunted and squirmed awkwardly. I had landed on a pen.  
"I'm psychic." Bert joked. I smiled. "What do you need?" He asked. I waited a second. I needed reassured that I would hang out with him again.  
"Uh... I guess I just wanted to say 'hi'." I said.  
"Oh, okay. Well, I'll see you in a little bit."Bert said. Huh?  
I looked at my clock. It was already 7:30 PM! I must have fallen asleep. We hung up and I checked that I had enough clothes in my suitcase before I zipped it up again.  
I avoided contact with my mother as I left the house silently.  
Bert lived a bit far from our house, so I decided to drive. Good thing, too. It had started to rain on the way there.  
I hit a red light and idly to a random beat. It was a busy intersection so this would be a while. I looked out the window. My gaze wandered to the side walk and guess what I saw:  
Mikey and Alicia. Heh, "study partners", they were cuddling on the bench in the bus shelter! I looked to the left and I saw the guy Mikey had walked up to earlier at school. They were friends, I guess. Which is normally impossible. Mikey would never been friends with that kid. He's too.. punk.  
First of all, he was smoking! I would've thought Mikey would have wrote him off there. A sleeve was rolled up to show an armful of tattoos. Well, it was either tattoos or a wonderful mess in Art class.  
The punk-tattoo kid caught my stare and we were in an eye lock. A staring contest; whoever blinks first loses.  
The light turned green after about a minute. The game was left as a tie.  
I parked my car in the driveway at Bert's house. He had had his own place fro a few months now. Not much; just a one bedroom and one bathroom bungalow.  
I knocked twice before I opened the front door. Bert, being Bert, never locks his door no matter how many times I tell him he might get robbed. I just knocked twice whenever I came over for courteousy.  
"Bert?"I called as I closed-and locked- the door behind me.  
"My room!" He answered from his bedroom, evidently.  
I walked down the hall passing the open kitchen and the right-hand door to the bathroom with the bedroom door across from it.  
"Can I come in?" I asked, considering the closed door.  
"Yes, I'm just too lazy to open the door." Bert said. I sighed, smiling and rolled my eyes. I opened the door to find him laying belly-down on his bed, his eyes glued to the TV set. I smiled and slid onto his bed right next to him. He leaned his head on my shoulder and we watched a bit of pointless SpongeBob Squarepants.  
At the commercial between programmes, Bert lifted his head from my shoulder and turned to me. I looked at him, leaning my head on my fist. I opened my mouth to make some stupid remark about SpongBob's backwards shirt, but I stopped when I saw Bert's face. He had an unusually serious expression on his face.  
"Gerard," Bert began, locking me in his gaze. I was frozen but his sudden seriousness, so I all I could really do was grunt ti show he had my attention. "You're leaving tomorrow?" He asked.  
I suddenly exhaled.I hadn't realized I was holding my breath. "Morning." I said. Where was he getting at?  
He looked away, eying a loose string on his comforter he had been playing with for a while. "Well, what I'm trying to say is.. I don't know when I'm actually going to see you again." He admitted. I smiled. He's so cute to miss me. But, it's not like I'm going to prison, I'm going to rehab. I'll probably even be kicked out for being unco-operative.  
I placed my arm around his neck to bring us closer together. Bert looked up and strangely enough, he looked genuinely sad. I've never seen him sad before. I had never seen him with a frown on his face before. Except for a playful pout he puts on when he wants something.  
"Don't worry. I'll be out as soon as I can." I reassured him.  
He looked into my eyes carefully, as if looking for a lie. He glanced down to my lips and back to my eyes and put on my favourite pout. I smiled, knowing what he wanted.  
Bert leaned into my lips, and I felt his arm sliding its way around my waist. Our lips met and I felt him smile against my lips.  
Wow, twice in 24 hours, it might actually be a record.


	4. Chapter 4

I groaned and covered my head with the pillow. "Gerard, it's about 6:00 AM. You should get home before you're filed as a missing person." Bert joked. I lifted the pillow and opened my eyes.  
Bert's eyes met mine as he lay there next to me. I smiled. "Good morning to you, too." He smiled back at me.

I quickly found myself back in my car, driving back home.

I walked up to the porch, and reached for the door knob with my keys.  
Before I could even get the key in, the door opened.  
"Gerard?" Mikey mumbled, a confused look on his face.  
"Hi. Don't ask... Watcha' doin'?" I asked teasingly as I walked in.  
Instead of Alicia, I saw that punk kid sitting in my recliner in the living room. I noticed he had a hell of a lot of tattooes; one of which I was interested in. The word "Halloween" was printed in orange across his fingers.  
I silently waved at him, bringing my eyes to his face for once. He had shiny black hair and a slim face, black studs on both ears and a lip peircing on the left side of his lower lip. Wow- one day this kid is going to be struck by lightning with all that metal.  
He waved back silently, seeming to be studying me, as well.  
"Gerard, this is Frank. Frank, Gerard." Mikey said, gesturing to Full-metal-emo and Me in turn.  
"Hello." I said.  
"Hi." He practically whispered. He seemed nervous, taking out the emotion on his thumb nail. I usually do the same thing when I'm nervous.  
I quickly looked him over again. Mikey was just a preppy kid who never did anything against the rules; and suddenly now he's friends with this punk kid?  
I had only realied now that he had stood up for a handshake. I felt blood rush up to my cheeks.  
I lent him my right hand, nervously. "Nice to meet you, p-Frank." I stammered, almost calling him my "nickname" for him. He chuckled lightly to himself and sat back down on my recliner. I sat across from him on the boring one-seater.  
"So, Mikey tells me your going to rehab. What for?" He asked. I chuckled. I'm surprised that Mikey hasn't already told him.  
"Cocaine, alcohol... Common stuff." I said nonchalantly.  
He smiled, but not at the fact that I was on drugs. It seemed like a nervous and slightly sympathetic smile.  
"What?" I asked.  
"Frank's dad runs the rehab centre Mom checked you into." Mikey answered. I nodded in understanding.  
"Suck-up," I muttered. "Bye." I said, quickly standing up. Before I left the room to the kitchen, Frank stopped me.  
"He's not a suck-up." Frank defended my baby brother. I barely paid any attention to his words. My eyes just focused on Frank's hand that now rested on my chest. It reminded me of those old movies where the woman would stop a man from leaving or whatever by pressing against the man's chest.  
"Wanna move your hand just a bit? Even the arm is fine." I joked, calmly, hiding my nervousness well for once.  
Pu-_Frank_'s slid-yes, _slid_, not lifted- his hand over my shoulder onto my forearm. I let out the breath I had been subconsciously holding.  
"Uh... sorry.. Nice to meet you." I mumbled, brushing of his hand and hurried down to my bedroom.  
I couldn't sleep at all after that. Sure, it was almost 7:00 AM, but I wasn't due at Hell On Earth 'til 9:00.  
I gave up on sleeping and slid out of bed. I sighed and sat in my desk chair and began tapping my pencil quietly against a drawing of Bert I had been working on. My mouth twisted to the side in thought as I stared down at the paper. I pushed the paper aside and laid out a fresh sheet.  
My fingers moved swiftly across the sheet, doing what they do best-well, in this area...heh... Um, ahem, carrying on:  
I dropped my pencil and ran my fingers through my hair in an aggravated manner. I couldn't get Frank out of my head! What sat before me on my desk was a sketch of Frank on my recliner. I groaned an leaned back on my chair.  
After a few minutes which felt like hours I decided to tear away from outlining Frank's "Halloween" tattoo.  
I had breakfast with a side of 3 coffees. _Hey, I needed it!_  
My mother dragged me to the car when I had to leave. The drive was the most long-ass silent drive I've ever been on!  
It was 2 hours of deadly silence until we parked and walked into the building. And I swear there were thick-as-hell bars on almost every window!  
"Gerard Way." My mom said to the receptionist in her fake cheerful voice she used when she spoke to anyone that's not family.  
"Okay, Mrs. Way, Frank will lead your son to his room." The receptionist said sweetly as she gestured to a man leaning against the counter on the far end, about 2 meters away. Frank turned around. It was punk-kid, Frank!


	5. Chapter 5

"Hi, Gerard." Frank said, waving. I nodded to him in greeting as he began to walk towards my mother and I. "Okay, I'll bring your son up to his room. You can leave, Mrs. Way." Frank spoke in a strangely un-appearance-suiting politeness.  
My mother just smiled warmly at him and walked away after patting my shoulder gently. I shrugged off the gesture and looked at Frank.  
"Hey, Frank." I almost whispered. It was strangely awkward.  
"Okay, up to your room." He said, gesturing to the elevators. I shrugged and followed, grabbing my one duffel bag and carrying over my shoulder.  
"You won't be sharing a room yet. The man who had been occupying this room has just recovered a few days ago." Frank explained. I chuckled.  
"I bet you say that to everyone." I joked. Frank smiled at me.  
After we reached the room, I set my bag on my twin sized bed, the head-splitting pain shot through my skull again. I grabbed my head and groaned.  
"Do you have a coffee machine, or something, around here?" I asked, remembering my last aid of withdrawl.  
Frank smiled. "Yeah, down the hall. Want me to get you a coffee?" He asked.  
"No, I want you to run there, touch it, and come back." I said sarcastically.  
Frank chuckled and left the room, leaving the door open.  
I lay on my bed, shoving my duffel towards the wall. I groaned, letting out my childish whines from my throat. I hated this!  
Hey, how long does it take to get a stupid cup of coffee?  
As if on que, Frank appeared in the doorway with a steaming cup in his hand.  
I half-smiled and sat up. After a few seconds, he still stood in the doorway.  
"Okay, is that my coffee or an accessory?" I snapped. Frank flinched at my words and hurried over to my side.  
"I put two sugars and just a little milk." Frank noted as he handed the coffee to me.  
"Yay, you're psychic, too." I said, praising him on his "psychic abilities". He smiled nervously. I noticed a pink tint rising on the surface of his cheeks. I than noticed the small distance our faces were to each other.  
"Uh..." Frank mumbled, starting to bite his thumb nail as he stood up. I cleared my throat.  
"I guess I'll see you later." I said, eying my my coffee cup. Frank must have agreed in a physical gesture since he silently left the room.  
I didn't feel the pain as much after that but I still chugged the coffee down my throat.

The next day was my first rehab session. I stayed silent since I had no intention to participate in this group session bullshit.  
"Okay, thank you. Now, next is Mr. Way." The session instructor called on me, eying my Misfits sweatshirt.  
"Just carry on. I don't care." I muttered, flashing him a glare and brought my focus to the floor again.  
"Mr. Way, you all have to have a turn. That is the point of your being here." He said. I rolled my eyes.  
"No, there is no point of me being here. This is where they bring people who they can't stand anymore!" I shouted, jumping out of my chair. The guy looked genuinely frightened, which seemed weird seeing how he worked here. He must have a lot of people who don't co-operate much.  
"Okay, Mr. Way. You can take a seat now. We'll skip your turn." He said in a scratchy, freaked-out voice.  
After the stupid session, we were all sent back to our rooms. I made my way to a balcony I had spotted earlier on the _way_ to the session. I seriously need a cigarette.  
I too out a cigarette from a spare pack I carried. I cursed under my breath when I couldn't find my lighter.  
"Need a light?" Someone asked and I soon saw a hand with an orange "Hallo" on its fingers, holding a red lighter.  
I looked up-down- at Frank and smiled. I took the lighter and lit up. "Why do you seem to appear any time to help me?" I asked, handing him back the lighter.  
"I'm just around. Call it coincidence, I guess." He shrugged. I smiled to myself.  
"So, what's your story? I mean, how did Mikey meet you?" I asked, remembering my curiousity.  
"Honestly, when I saw him and Alicia, I was thinking 'oh, shit, that girl's hot!' but then I actually talked to them and we became friends. It was actually at his school. I know a guy, John who goes there." Frank explained nonchalantly. I nodded and flicked away some ash. "Okay, my question now!" Frank squealled in excitement. I smiled.  
"If you don't mind, may I ask how you got on drugs?" Frank asked. I exhaled deeply. I hated that question. Mikey had asked me that many times before. I had always just ignored him or snapped at him with some sarcastic remark. But this time, I wanted to answer. I liked this guy.  
"I guess, 'cause I was an outcast in high school and shit. So in my loneliness and the fact that I didn't take it too well, I drove myself to drink and do drugs. Actually, I started smoking to try and be cooler-you, know, _that_ stupid idea- but I ended up losing weigh easier so it turned into a habit. " I answered. I ended up babbling on about how hard it was for me in high school and how crappy it is here and I told him all about Bert. He seemed to be pretty at ease when I told him I was bisexal, which made him much cooler in my eyes.

"So, you really like Bert but you've been friends with him for, like, forever and you're a little freaked out about the change?" Frank asked. I nodded and put out my third cigarette.  
"Yeah, I guess. Why are you so interested in my relationships anyway?" I asked. We had moved the conversation to the bench where he had sat before he had offered his lighter.  
"No major reason. It just interests me." Frank said, seeming to reach for my hand but flinched and stopped himself. "I guess I feel for you. It's weird to go from friends to more." He said.  
"Really, what happened?" I asked, anxiously.  
"Well, it was great, but then-" He paused and studied my expression for a second. "He graduated and went off to some college half-way across the country." He explained. _Wow... who knew? Punk kid, __friends__ with Mikey... __**gay**_. I smiled.  
"Well, it was a long time ago." He said and sniffled. Was he going to cry?  
"Are you okay?" I asked. He smiled reassuringly.  
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He asked nonchalantly, avoiding eye contact with me.  
"So, are you getting a cold? Or is it just coincidence that your eyes are watery and you're all sniffly right after talking about an old broken heart?" I asked. Frank closed his eyes. I had released the tears. His cheeks were now shiny and wet.  
He had broken down. e leaned his head against my chest. I felt my cheeks burn up. I gently placed my hands on his back to try and comfort him.  
"I'm sorry." We said in unison. I bit my lip and smiled.  
"It's okay, let it out." I encouraged him, patting his back. I felt a wetness underneath my sweatshirt. Man, this punk can _cry_!  
I looked around and found that a few people were looking. I felt a little uncomfortable now that people were staring.  
"Thank you, Gerard. And sorry, again." He said as he pulled away. I blushed.  
"No problem. Any time." I said as I flashed a smile. He smiled but the features of a frown stayed on his face. "I'll probably get in shit if I don't get to my room soon." I said. He nodded.  
"Want me to walk you? This place can be maze-like." He offered.  
"Sure." I said and I helped him up.  
He led me up the stairs towards my room. I had actually no clue where my room was so I _did_ need him to walk me to it.  
"Okay, so, I guess I'll see you tomorrow." Frank said as he neared the door. I had been laying on the bed at this point.  
Before he could be out of sight, I called out his name. He turned his head and looked at me, leaning his forehead on the doorframe.  
"Thank you." I said. He smiled weakly. He quietly walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.  
I exhaled deeply and stood up. I walked over to a little mirror that hung on the wall. I stared hard at my face. It was only then that I realised that I was crying. I wiped under my eyes. I sighed.  
The door suddenly opened and I turned. Frank kicked my door closed and walked over to me. He grabbed my face with both hands and pressed his lips against mine. I had no idea what to think. He knew I had feelings for someone else. But, he kissed me.  
He broke away, keeping us touching foreheads. He breathed heavily. "Frank," I breathed. He shook his head, keeping his eyes to the ground.  
"I know. I just was-" He paused. His hands lowered by a few centimeters. His thumb gently stroked my jaw bone. "Curious." He said. I could see a small smile appear on his lips.  
"Anything else you're curous about?" I asked, playing along. He nodded. His hot breath ran down my neck and sent odd shivers up and down my body.  
"Can I ask what it is?" I asked. He looked up finally and looked into my eyes. A look of deep longing stared into my eyes. _This punk is __**bold**_!  
I decided to go with it. I pressed my liips against his again and his fingers dug through my hair as his other hand slid down my back.  
"Where?" He asked, taking his lips from mine long enough to just to whisper that and return. I scanned the room with one eye. The bed was pretty small and the floor was carpet. I had to go with the bed.  
I laid him down on the bed. He made himself comfortable as hovered over him, stradling his waist.  
I knew this was just out of sympathy and for comfort for him. This had no future...  
But why did it feel so right?  
I kissed him on the lips and then continued down.


	6. Chapter 6

I opened my eyes. I groaned as the pain of withdrawl came to me. And then I remembered that a warm body laid beside me. I looked down and I spotted a tattooed punk kid clinging my chest like a child to it's teddy bear. He was tracing circles around my belly button.  
"Good morning." I said to him, twirling my fingers in a lock of his black hair.  
He looked up, "Good morning... Thank you." He said.  
"Any time" was the first thing that came through my mouth. That sounded bad. "I mean- you're welcome." I corrected myself. He smiled and lokoed at my side table.  
"Oh, shit. I have to go." He said, pushing himself off me. I nodded. I helped him collect his clothes.  
"Bye, I'll see you later." He said. I waved silently.  
"Oh, wait!" I called and grabbed his arm. "Um- is there, like, a payphone around here or something?" I asked. He nodded.  
"Yeah, down the hall to the last right. There's a whole line of payphones." He said, pointing down the hall.  
"Thanks." I said. He smiled and left.  
I closed my door and went to my bag. I unzipped it and pulled out the picture of me and Bert. I frowned. "Sorry, Bert." I whispered, tracing my thumb around his face.  
I pulled out the first two quarters I found in my bag and quickly followed Frank's directions.  
I put a quarter into the first available phone and dialed Bert's phone number. "Hello?" Bert answered. He sounded tired. I don't know what time it was.  
"Hey, Bert." I said happily.  
"Hey, Gerard. How's hell?" He asked.  
_Better than I ever thought I would._  
"Well, hell! We have no choice but to go to these stupid sessions and I barely get any drugs around here." I spilled, avoiding Frank as a topic.  
"Mikey tells me his friend works over at that place. Seen him?" Bert asked. _Shit..._  
"From time to time." I said. The conversation felt oddly awkward on my end.  
"When do you think you'll be able to get out?" He asked.  
"Maybe a few months. I feel like I'm gonna die in here." I said.  
"Aw, poor Gerard." Bert sympathized me. I smiled. "I'll see you. Call me, okay?" He said.  
"Alright. Talk to you later, bye." I said and hung up.  
I looked at the second quarter in the palm of my hand, concidering calling Mikey. I sighed and shoved the quarter in my pocket.

I hurried back to my room and before I could reach it, I saw a man knocking on my door. "Mr. Way, it's time to wake up." He said, knocking on my door louder. I sighed in annoyance but then noticed his assistant in a white labcoat holding a small perscription medicine container which I easily recognized as my morning dose. I feel like a fucking labrat around here.  
I walked over and tapped the man on the shoulder. "Hey, can I go in now?" I said. The man stammered gibberish to himself and then stepped out of the way.  
"Mr. Way, it's time for your dosage." The man said before I could close the door behind me. I rolled my eyes.  
"No kidding." I muttered and left the door open.

I laid on my bed in silence, going over last night in my mind. Frank had been so... odd. I actually would hagve never thought he was gay. He seemed like a tough guy... besides when he cried like a little girl into my favourite sweatshirt.  
And he seemed so confident and forward. Bert is just _crazy_.  
A knock on the door stopped my train of thought.  
"Come in." I called, sitting up on the bed. The door opened revealing Frank on the other side.  
"Hey.." He whispered. He was suddenly so shy around me now. Something must be bugging him.  
"Are you alright?" I asked, standing up. He raised his hands in front of him for me to stop. I backed up a step. _What was wrong? Does he suddenly hate me?_  
"Gerard, I-" Frank mumbled. I knew it was going to be about last night.  
"What's wrong? You seem nervous." I said, letting my hand slowly reach out to him while keeping my legs stationary. He walked completely into the room, closing the door behind him.  
I watched every one of his movements carefully, curious of what was going through his head. I wish I were psychic.  
He was about a foot away from me now. Still silent.  
"I-" I was hushed by his finger over my lips. My lips along with my cheeks burned.  
"I just need you right now." He whispered, leaning in closely. _Okay, I don't think so..._  
"Frank, no ideas here." I said, pushing away his hand. Frank shook his head.  
"Please, Gerard. I'm begging here." Frank said. I sighed.  
"No, Jesus, God, wow.. Frank, stop that." I said, holding him away by his shoulders.  
"No, Gerard. I can't. You're just too cute." Frank said, his arms going around my neck. I rolled my eyes.  
"Want cute? Buy a puppy." I spat, removing his hands from my neck. He smiled at me. It was as if he were drunk and didn't understand a word I was saying... Oh, drunk... It's a great feeling.. Oh, shit! No reveries right now, what's going on?  
I felt Frank's warm lips against mine. _Wow, this punk can __kiss__!_  
"Just this once." He breathed heavily, digging his fingers into my hair. I had only noticed now that he had brought me into a corner. _Damn forward kid, I can't back away._  
I smirked at his little comment.  
"Then what was last night?" I asked, playing with his lip ring. He smiled against my lips.  
"A small preview." He said. At that second I found my back on the bed with Frank sliding off my shirt. Damn, he's strong for a small kid.

I laid awake staring at the ceiling with Frank laying on my chest. I was pretty sure he was asleep. "I'm sorry." He said suddenly. Instead of flipping out from him scaring me half way to death, I just responded.  
"What for?" I asked.  
"Doing this again." He said. I felt a shiver go through Frank's back. I rubbed his back in an attempt to warm him up. But then I felt a cold bead of moisture drip onto my chest. He was crying.  
"I'm sorry. This isn't what was supposed to happen. I came to ask a favour." He admitted. I stared at his innocent face. He seemed so genuinely upset.  
"What is it?" I asked. He sighed.  
"You know that guy I told you about that left and went to college?" Frank said. I nodded. "Well, I just got a message from him saying that he just graduated early and has huge news. And being a dropout, I don't have much to be bragging about. So, when he comes do you think you can act like-" He pauded, but I think I know where he was going with this. I closed my eyes. "... Act like my boyfriend?" He released the rest onto me as if I'm most open-minded when my eyes are closed.  
"Sure. When is this guy coming?" I asked, opening my eyes.  
"I guess about a month. Apparently he has family that wants to throw him graduation parties in, like, six different states." Frank whined. I smiled at him. One month... I'm pretty sure I'd be independent of drugs by then. April... lovely.  
"Thanks, Gerard." Frank said, resting his head on my chest.


End file.
